I don’t think we are ever truly prepared for goodbye. At least, I wasn’t.
I am greedy with my love for others and want as much as possible, always . Faced with bidding America goodbye I suddenly found myself at a loss for just about everything. Can you hug your other half enough? Will being independent from parents and letting them let you go ever feel normal? Do little brothers ever get easier to leave?
Time simultaneously grinds to a halt and speeds up, until we’re left looking forward to whatever lies ahead.
For me, it was the University of St. Andrews, which, just for the record, is a charming place full of seaside character and Scottish history.
Never before have I made so uncharacteristic a decision. Uprooting myself from friends, family, comfort – the familiar – is not an Amy typical move.
Yet God has made it pretty clear that this is where he’s got me for the next four months. He wants me here. Even when I haven’t wanted me here.
And trust me, there have been many moments over the past few days where I have questioned why I’m here. Granted homesickness, jetlag, and the Atlantic Ocean’s exponential size are formidable things to experience all at once. Going to bed at night feels funny without multiple texts from Matt. I’m not sure I like it. But that doesn’t mean Scotland and I won’t get along.
Meeting tons of new people is equally thrilling and draining. But that doesn’t mean Scotland and I won’t get along.
Waking up in the mornings, knowing I’m sort of separated from loved ones until they roll out of bed hours later than me is weird. But that doesn’t mean Scotland and I won’t get along.
Change is unavoidable when you’re a study abroad kid – or a JSA as we’re fondly referred to here.
Some changes are wonderful. Homegirl had her first cider last night and also received one of the sweetest texts from her dad ever saying that hopefully said cider wasn’t too hard because some of it is “headbanging stuff.”
I don’t even know what that means but my dad had me smiling in a pub thousands of miles away.
I have classes that sound legitimately exciting: contemporary British fiction and the city and the country in Scottish literature.
I may be speaking far too soon, but I think the WiFi actually works better here than at Queens…how a tiny coastal town figures that out better than Charlotte is beyond me.
I have a new roommate called Emman and she is oh so sweet and kind and let me sleep in this morning.
There are gorgeous views everywhere I turn – I’ve traded the martini glass that is Duke Energy’s high rise for castle ruins, the North Sea, and cobblestones.
Some changes are a bit harder to explain and fully portray, but that doesn’t mean Scotland and I won’t get along.
I am taking life one day at a time, which I’ve discovered is really all you can do when you’re treading on foreign territory.
I am also trusting that God has every detail taken care of. He goes before us yet he never ceases walking beside us. What marvelous comfort that has been to me over this last week.
Stay tuned as I update friends and family here, sharing Scottish adventures and general insight into the life of one Amy Bareham. Until next time, know that I’m sending many hugs to you!
Your favourite British American xoxo