The happily ever after myth

Sometimes I wonder about the initial Prince Charming. When Eve opened her eyes and saw Adam for the first time, was she all bow chika wow wow? Did she look upon him longingly and think God did good? She had a perfect man and a perfect love, created for her by a perfect Father. The original husband and wife dream team could dance their way through Eden, surrounded by complete paradise, something we will never experience this side of heaven. And then I think about the fact that this precious love became tainted. Adam was not there for his girl when she needed him most, and Eve succumbed to the temptation of possibility – perhaps something better exists, perhaps there is more. They turned their backs on God in a moment of weakness, entertaining the notion that love is not enough. Vows were broken that day and humanity has felt the consequent pain ever since. 

Relationships, however enchanting, are always a marriage of two broken people. Two pieces with rough edges do not make a pristine whole – but I believe some of God’s most dazzling work is done with jagged fragments. Who are we to straighten what he has made crooked?

I also think there comes a time in every relationship when trouble sets in. Why? Because we are greedy, selfish, prideful – sinful. That word, sin, is tiny but people steer clear of it because it has so many negative connotations. Let’s just get comfortable for a minute and recognize that sin is the darkness of mankind. We are all capable of terrible things and that is frightening, but we are also capable of terrific good and that should be liberating. Still, the fact remains that we aren’t always promise keepers. We screw up. Fortunately God gets that. I’m sure he’s watched me fumble through life and face-palmed many a time but his love for me does not waver.

What if we viewed our significant others that way, falling in love with them over and over again – as often as necessary – choosing to overlook their shortcomings?

I’ve realized that my future husband will have just as many flaws as me. I must open up my heart and say look, see, I am not always beautiful. I’ve made bad choices, I have scars, but I am yours.

At the crux of this rambling is a desire for you, whoever you are, to know that we make love complex, when in reality it is simple. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Maybe you’re hurting. Maybe you’re searching. Maybe you’re lonely, maybe you’re empty. Whatever kind of warped love you’ve experienced is nothing compared to God’s love for you and the love you can feel for those around you. Maybe your Adam or Eve hasn’t lived up to your expectations. Look again. God has not and will not give up on you. Relationships change when we stop licking our wounds and acknowledge our part in the disunity.

If you’re walking the single path like me, find comfort in Him. Too often, I fall in love with the stuff of fantasy. My gaze is no longer fixated on God and wanders, but I always come back to the same conclusion: He is enough.

“My foot slips. Your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up. When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.” – Psalm 94: 18-19

“And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy.” -Hosea 2:19

 

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4 thoughts on “The happily ever after myth

  1. Those of us married a while need to read this as much as those looking for love.
    Lots to mull over today. Thank you

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