Today marks the beginning of the last week of my internship.
I suppose I could run with the old adage, “Time flies when you’re having fun,” but this summer deserves more than a cliche ending. And while time may have gone by rather quickly as I poured out my heart for Southbrook Church, the harder truth to swallow is that everything I’ve done is slowly catching up with me. I’m about to be vulnerable and enter Jesus freak zone so if my faith offends, feel free not to read on, I’ll understand, promise.
I fell to my knees yesterday in desperate need of time alone with God. I was exhausted on multiple levels. So I sat at the feet of Him who knows me best – un-showered, fresh out of bed, crying tears of exhaustion in a baggy sweater.
It’s not that anything was wrong. I was simply tired.
A dear friend of mine shared on Sunday about the Samaritan woman Jesus meets at the well. He reminds her – as he reminded me yesterday – that when we drink from the well our thirst is quenched, but only temporarily. When we allow Jesus’ living water – his truth, his word, his voice – to fill us, our thirst is quenched continuously. As the rain falls down on sleepy little Waxhaw today, I’m thankful. This steady downpour mirrors how I felt as I shared a summer’s worth of thoughts, emotions, and heart with God. He rained his love, comfort, and grace down on me. Oh how I felt refreshed.
Somehow I ended up in Isaiah 40, listening to Bethel’s “You Know Me”. I learned and played the song for high school worship Sunday night but I think God knew I needed to sit alone and let the lyrics and his word work together on my tired heart.
“Nothing is hidden from your sight, wherever I go, you find me. And you know every detail of my life, you are God and you don’t miss a thing…you memorize me.”
“He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young.” (Isaiah 40:11)
“Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:30-31)
Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted.
That’s when it hit me – if youths are weary that means youths are working hard for the Kingdom of God. We as interns this summer have made an impact and we as a generation will not be stopped. We will walk on the water with boldness and courage because we are a chosen people marked by perseverance and a love for God’s people. There is satisfaction in this exhaustion because life change is happening.
I wore those words like a hug yesterday morning because my soul was incredibly weary. Quiet time pondering Isaiah 40 led me to see that my soul was weary in the best sense – in the “You’ve done good, Amy” sense. And I’m okay with that, because when I decided to work at church this summer it was from a yearning to hear God say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” Yesterday, as he saw me cry, heard my needs, and gave his love I think he was saying just that. Interns, be proud of what you’ve accomplished this summer. Serving alongside you has been a joy and I know God delights in you all.
(Give this a listen if you have the time.)